I have pink hair coz I was raised by bats

On May 4th, I dyed the front parts of my hair pink. One day I'll dye the top layer of my hair pink (similar to Hide), and then maybe the rest at some point. Now, pink is not necessarily my #1 favorite color, but it is when it comes to hair color. Just as someone may favor blondes or redheads, I favor pink hair. I really think it had something to do with both Shuichi Shindou and Utena Tenjou back in my middle school years. My nickname was even Shu back in the day! I still love Shuichi out of nostalgia. Shuichi was pretty much the anime character I felt was like a cut out version of myself at the time. Utena I still love very much to this day. She was, and still is, everything I strive to be. So I think the love of these two characters must have started it, but they are not the reason why I have pink hair.

Back then, I could only dream of having pink hair. My parents would not allow it, any hair color you could find by Garnier in the hair aisle in CVS was fine. Even a dark purple. But no "crazy" hair colors. My parents were by no means strict with how I expressed myself. The only real No-no's were unnatural hair colors and skulls.

Anywho, I was finally able to persuade them that pink was okay right after graduating high school and going to college. If your parents don't allow you to do something they find weird or crazy (within reason of course), this is exactly how you can get their okay without being an unruly teenager. I told them, "Right now I am not looking for a job, I'm still a teenager. I should be able to do this now before it is no longer acceptable to do so anymore". This definitely persuaded them, more so my mother who was very against the idea of having a pink-haired daughter..I wish I had thought of it sooner! So I was able to finally have my pink hair. Below is a shot of me with pink hair the first time around in 2007.

If your parents don't allow you to do something they find weird or crazy (within reason of course), this is exactly how you can get their okay without being an unruly teenager. I told them, "Right now I am not looking for a job, I'm still a teenager. I should be able to do this now before it is no longer acceptable to do so anymore"

Of course now I am almost six years older from when I first dyed my hair pink. This part of my style is obviously something that is going to stick with me for a long time. So then why didn't I keep my hair pink the first time? I think when it came down to it, I hated the attention..especially the negative attention. I know, with pink hair you're just ASKING for it..which is a pretty sad mentality to have in any situation. It is similar to being told to not dress in short skirts because "YOU GONNA GET RAPED". "You're asking for bad attention" is what I have been told when I explained my dilemma with pink hair. Perhaps people need to be taught manners..anyways I got tired of catching everyone and anyone's attention. People knew who I was in my former college because of my hair.. I was "The pink-haired girl". Then after I re-dyed it brown, I was "Formerly pink-haired girl" and it bothered me. I'm not really the type of person that liked any attention. It bothered me even more so than the attention my clothing ever got me. So I re-dyed it back because I hated how people treated me, rather it be positive attention (which seemed very fake at the time because no one cared about me before) or negative. After a few years, I regretted dying it back to brown and again craved having pink hair which I expressed in character builders in video games.

 

In the end, I let people dictate how I expressed myself and that is more disappointing than the people themselves. The whole "I don't give a damn what people think" aspect of me was gone and the struggle to be 'normal' and 'adult' began to grow. In turn, the part I loved about myself the most began to wither. I finally saw that the beginning of this year.

 In the end, I let people dictate how I expressed myself and that is more disappointing than the people themselves.

A few years back, the anime NANA made me recall the style of clothing I loved wearing, so I began to dress more goth again. I felt much happier, I felt like me again. Put me in "normal" clothing and it feels more like a costume to me, playing pretend to fit the mold for society. I'm not trying to be rebellious, it just so happens what I love isn't the norm. And there's also nothing wrong with dressing the way most people do, as long as you're happy. I can only wish my style of clothing will become more and more acceptable.

  Earlier this year, I got my first ever tattoo. Initially, it felt amazing to finally have the tattoo I've dreamt of having for many years. Finally apart of how I felt inside was forever etched upon my body. To be honest, I forget I even have it sometimes with it being on my back and all!

This may sound weird, but I found pink hair to be much more life-changing than my tattoo. While the tattoo is permanent and the hair isn't, my hair was visible for all to see--and for me as well. I was originally going to the salon for a much needed haircut, but it was my mother who told me "The salonist does pink hair! You should ask her to dye it". Yes, it was my Mom who pushed me to get it ironically. She knew how happy it would make me, since I kept talking about wanting pink hair for a while. I wasn't going to originally, I suppose it was on the spot and unplanned (not to mention I had a paper to write and tests to study).  I had not time to prepare myself with the thought of suddenly having pink hair again...but it happened. It was a bumpy road, because I originally wanted soft, light pink hair like cotton candy. But my hair just won't allow it, so its more magenta (and gradually fading to the color I prefer).  Even though it wasn't the shade I had wanted, it was STILL pink, so I was very happy. It felt very life-changing just as the tattoo. Having pink hair suddenly made me feel more confident in myself. When I looked in the mirror, I felt beautiful whether I wore a fancy blouse or a casual t-shirt. I felt like, FINALLY, a part of myself I from the inside is outside for me to see. I felt more happy than I did the first time I dyed it, I think, because I wanted it despite the attention I knew I'd get from having it.

Having pink hair suddenly made me feel more confident in myself. When I looked in the mirror, I felt beautiful whether I wore a fancy blouse or a casual t-shirt. I felt like, FINALLY, a part of myself I from the inside is outside for me to see.

I will admit, the very beginning of having pink hair again I began to have doubts even though I was happy. Going to the store, for instance, was more annoying because I received stares and laughs. I avoided going out for a while...and when I'd go out and get the mail, kids would stop playing and look at me and I find myself running back to my house as fast as Kafei in Majora's Mask.

I began to cling closely in my mind, the people who I knew had unnatural hair around my age to verify with myself that what I was doing was okay. Leahmouse constantly dyed her hair different colors and didn't give a shit about what people thought. My old college professor who I have on Facebook has a full head of pink hair. And Albinowonderland has a full head of pink as well and wears stylish clothing. It should be okay for me to have this too right?
It wasn't until a few weeks ago at Steampunk's World Fair (almost typed Steampink lol) that I fully realized it shouldn't matter and I should be myself. It took a new song by my hero Voltaire for me to finally see it.

The line in particular that spoke to me was the chorus:

"When the people all stopped and stared and said 'Why do you have to be like that?' I just looked them in the eye and tell em 'I was raised by Bats!'"

If you didn't/can't listen to the song, its not a gloomy, sad song or anything like that despite being about Voltaire running away from home as a teenager. But as he played up on stage I felt very emotional. As everyone cheered, and those who knew the words sang along joyfully, I had tears in my eyes (and when I later watched a video of that same performance I cried legit tears). I felt so uplifted, like I finally understood--FUCK EVERYONE AND DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. This doesn't go for just hair color and clothing..you do whatever it is that makes you happy (just as long as you aren't harming anyone else.)  You love that skull dress? You wear it. You want to become a musician? Fucking do it. You want a tattoo? Get it--by a professional of course when you're eighteen. I suddenly felt motivated and have a sense of self. Perhaps I was long overdue for a Voltaire concert! But this man, my HERO, made it 100% clear as day to me that happiness with oneself is what one should strive for, even if it means being a 'weirdo' to everyone else. I dream for a day when unnatural hair color will be just as normal as having brown or blonde hair, but until then, rather I like it or not, people will judge. I will choose to hold myself higher than the opinion of strangers.

Now, it is getting closer and closer to a full month of having pink hair and I am not turning back. My favorite reaction was when I attended my anime club for the first time with pink-hair---they didn't care. No stares, no laughing...it was just as normal as having brown hair. I also loved the fact Voltaire recognized me despite the hair change (I think he's seen me in all sorts of shades whether it be my actual hair or a wig--with brown, black, red and blonde hair hahaha)

My favorite reaction was when I attended my anime club for the first time with pink-hair---they didn't care.

Being at a convention like Steampunk World's Fair and a diverse city like San Francisco made me forget I even had pink hair because I hardly received any kind of attention. I received compliments on my panda hat though! Now I am home, back on Long Island again..and it strains me to think I have to to be ridiculed for just being at the mall. But you know what, I feel so much happier with myself. If you really want something, hold onto it and don't let go. If it makes you happy, its worth fighting for.